Have you ever been working with a client and suddenly something shifts? A disconnect that you can’t quiet put your finger on? This is a common experience for many helping professionals and often creates feelings of frustration, confusion, and shame for both the client and professional. What I've learned from my time working as a trauma therapist is, this is often related to old attachment defenses that were formed early in childhood to stay safe.

Unfortunately, the same defense that is trying to help the client stay safe is also creating a disconnect because the client is becoming dysregulated. They're no longer in an emotional, physical and/or mental state to remain connected in the relationship. This disconnect makes it difficult to be able to continue progressing within the therapeutic relationship. The good thing is, we can learn to work with attachment defenses instead of trying to resist, avoid or become stuck in them.